Oiy. Be still my heart. It is bursting into a tiny million pieces at the moment.
We went to Kindergarten orientation with this dude yesterday.
He’s ready, nervous and excited. I’m nervous, excited and sad. All the feelings exploding at once. Me and all the other first time Kindergarten moms. I know I’m not the first to feel all these things.
I’ve been struggling with and exploring the idea of Homeschooling for a few years. I know many families that do Homeschool and I’m completely fascinated with the idea. It’s an exploding trend and I see and understand 100% the appeal to Homeschooling. I’ve seen some really successful adults emerge from a Homeschool education.
So many reasons hold me back from jumping in.
1) Is the social stigma around Homeschooling that intimidates me. I’m a sucker for what people think and how they judge.
2) Would I be helping or hurting my children in the process. This summer with all four on my own everyday was NOT easy. This mama needs a break sometimes.
3) Gus is a social creature. He’s shy but he loves his group of dudes he’s grown close to in preschool and sports. It would kill me to not send him to school with his best buds every day.
4) I’m not seeking it for religious reasons. I’m not a conservative religious person and I’m not seeking that kind of environment for my children. The reason the Catholic school in Delano wasn’t the choice for us. I’ve searched many Homeschooling Co-ops in the area and I haven’t found one that isn’t a strong conservative religion based group. I can’t even pretend I would fit in with something like that. And I can’t think we can jump into Homeschooling without a co-op. We need a community.
Anyway. After spending the morning at Kindergarten orientation my interest in Homeschooling peeked again. As they went through the curriculum they use and then jumped into their school lock down drills I thought “wait a minute”. I so don’t want my kids having to worry about lock downs during their reading lessons. I can teach that same curriculum at home myself with out all the distractions that school brings. School lock down drills are just one of the many reasons on my list why I would choose Homeschooling. But that one jumped out and hit hard yesterday.
I’m going to continue to struggle with my choice to Homeschool or not to Homeschool. A choice I’ll probably never actually make so I’m not even sure why I’m spilling all my thoughts out right now. I know most people cringe at the idea of Homeschooling. I don’t need a list of reasons why not to Homeschool. I already know all those reasons. Mitch reminds me daily, Ha!
I digress. Gus is going to Kindergarten in 10 days. He’s going to love it. And my heart is bursting with all the feelings.